I’ve seen many of you, who seems addicted of something/someone. To better understand this dis-ease i would prefer to replace the word addiction with avoidance. Yes, it is avoidance, “Avoidance of ourselves”. It is to look the alternate side of addiction. It’s all about you and your mentality of taking something/someone as an addiction, adopting something/someone as habit without caring whether it is good or bad, or being dependent on something/someone.
Addiction is merely a struggle within the self, to avoid the self. Believe me it has nothing to do with the object of addiction or affection. It has to do with the self and self’s inability to find the peace and understanding within while in certain situations. Let me go deeper:- When i obsess, when I struggle, when i fear, when i feel disgust and point all those to the other things, whose problems are those? “Mine”. When i get involved with a person who ignores me, neglect me, doesn’t love me, is that his/her problem? “No, it’s mine!”. When i feel insecure, unloved and keep chasing after someone who doesn’t want mein his/her life, is that her/his problem? “No, it’s mine!” When I found something which have worst effects sooner or later and got myself addicted to, whose problem is that? “Mine!”
So often we point the blame outside ourselves. So often we look to the rest of the world to do the work of making peace for us. DUDE! why would world work to make peace for you! Actually we are blind to the facts that change, peace, understanding is within us. That there is a struggle going on within us that needs to be quited and we are the ones responsible for it. No one else. In fact if we should name ourselves anything it should be “Avoidants” not addicts.
By focusing so deeply on something/someone we are avoiding ourselves. Recovery is the SELF. It is our demons. As the saying goes:- You can never make anyone happy if you’re not happy within.
Finding yourself within you could be easy if you have found who are you and what you want out of life. It can be challenging if you do not learn the lesson of self-exploration and self- acceptance. But eventually life smacks you enough time and force you to admit the truth. In that moment, the path to figure it all out requires a determination to stay commited to the trail, to hang on and keep moving forward even when it gets tough. In this dark and wild ride there’s a light at the end of tunnel that open the doors for some miraculous opportunities, love and peace. So here’s the lesson that will serve you well and help you to find yourself within you:-
1. Accept yourself:- The light of our authentic self doesn’t shine when we are constantly overwhelmed by our insecurities. That light draws in every person, experience and opportunity that aligns with out true happiness.
2. Perfect isn’t real, real isn’t perfect:- Nothing is perfect. Nobody is. So do not try to be perfect because it’s not realistic. So, just relax. Just get real and lead the way.
3. Accept everything:- Stop judging. Drop the expectations of what you want, how you think someone should behave. The good stuffs are easily acceptable and it make you happy too, but change your tune about bad stuffs too. Try to learn the lesson in everything, everyone, the tough stuffs, the people who challenge you, because they’re good teacher indeed.
4. Be selfish:- Balance between 50% selfishness and 50% selflessness. Find out what energizes you , what makes you happy, how you connect to yourself. Don’t sacrifice those things, put them first.
5. Use everyone else as a mirror:- Someone has said:- “An quality which you are attracted to, or unattracted to, you do not lack.” This means everything about others we love, like, hate or frustrated by, resides somewhere within ourselves. If it’s positive enhance it, if it’s negative appreciate it and go forward.
5. Connect to your core:- Your core is your stabilizer; physically, emotionally and mentally when you feel of in your workout, or in your day, or notice a negative thoughts or insecurities arise, engage your belly.
Love changes your prospective and gratitude is absolutely the only way to attract more of what you want.